FUNNY BUT TRUE

• Big Brother Africa sponsored by Coca-Cola: *$300,000 (N48m)*
• Maltina Dance: *N10 million*
• MTN Project Fame: *N7.5million & SUV*
• Etisalat's Nigerian Idol: *N5m & multi-million*
Naira contracts*
• Glo Naija Sings: *N5million & SUV*
• Gulder ultimate search: *N10m* plus
endorsements & SUV*
BUT
• COWBELL Mathematics competition: *N100k*
• Lagos State Spelling Bee: *N50k*
• School scrabble: *N25k*
• Cool-FM spelling game: *A goodie bag filled with
Amiladrink*
• UNN BEST Graduating Student: *N50k*
And someone is asking and wondering why there's so much failure in WAEC and JAMB ?
Soon a time will come when parents will no longer say: *Read your books and get good grades but "Read your lyrics and make a hit song!"

May God Help us!!!

JOKES: The Ibadan Lady

An Ibadan lady sat together with three white guys at Sheraton Goodies Bar waiting to be served. The barman came over to take their orders.
The British guy says "Johnny Walker single"
The American guy says "Jack Daniels single"
The French guy says "Remmy Martine single".
The barman finally turned to the lady asking her and you madam? She replied "Kafayat Abeke married". 😜😂😂😂😜😜😀... can't stop laughing

How I Blocked Atiku from Becoming President - Anenih

While reading from excerpts from his book, a former PDP BoT Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party has revealed how he blocked former Vice President, Atiku Abubakar from becoming president.

Chief Tony Anenih

 

A former Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party’s Board of Trustees, Tony Anenih, said he blocked ex-Vice-President Atiku Abubakar from succeeding former President Olusegun Obasanjo.

Anenih stated this in his book, titled ‘My Life and Nigerian Politics,’ which was presented in Abuja on Saturday.

Anenih, who served as the Minister of Works and Housing between 1999 and 2002, said Abubakar became too ambitious during the build-up to the 2003 presidential election in which Obasanjo was seeking a second term.

“As a result of my preparations for Chief Obasanjo’s second tenure, I stepped on the toes of many of those who did not want him to seek a second term. These are the people I can now refer to as members of the ‘G3’. These were General Ibrahim Babangida, (ex-) Vice- President Atiku Abubakar and the (ex-) National Security Adviser, General Aliu Gwarzo.

“There was no other way I could have offended the vice-president other than that I prevented him from being PDP’s presidential candidate in the 2003 presidential election. He erroneously believed that he was the only politician at the Villa and that he was better qualified than the President. I was well ahead of him in all his plans to prevent Chief Obasanjo from running (for re-election).”
Anenih, however, noted that after blocking Abubakar, the former vice-president also ensured that he (Anenih) lost his position in Obasanjo’s cabinet.

The former PDP BoT Chairman also claimed that he was the one who made Atiku second-in-command in 1999.

He said after the PDP presidential primary of 1998, the then Chairman of the party, Solomon Lar, recommended three northerners to be Obasanjo’s running mate.

The three nominees were Prof. Jerry Ghana, Abubakar Rimi and Adamu Ciroma.

Lar was said to have told Obasanjo that Rimi was his preferred candidate but Obasanjo wasn’t convinced.

Anenih, according to the book, then advised Obasanjo to pick Atiku, who had just won the governorship election in Adamawa State and was waiting to be sworn in.

He added, “I asked Obasanjo whether he would want a vice-president that would give him absolute confidence and allow him to sleep with his two eyes closed or whether he would want a vice-president he did not trust.

“He answered that he would like to sleep with his two eyes closed. It was at this point that I asked him: ‘What about Atiku?’ Chief Obasanjo’s answer was that Atiku had just won his governorship election and the law might not allow him to come on board as his running mate.

“We both decided to get a lawyer to advise us and Barrister Alimi Rasaq of Kwara State was sent for. He advised us that there was nothing in the constitution that prevented Atiku from being his running mate; especially as Atiku had not been sworn in.”
Speaking at the book presentation, which had in attendance several PDP leaders, Anenih announced that he had quit politics.

However, former President Goodluck Jonathan, who was a special guest of honour, rejected Anenih’s retirement, urging him not to abandon the PDP.

Meanwhile, the ex-minister said he survived death after an eight-hour heart surgery.

He stated this during a thanksgiving service held at Our Lady Queen of Nigeria Pro-Cathedral Church, Garki, Abuja.

He said, “There is nothing God cannot do if you believe in him sincerely. I had a problem with my heart. So I was subjected to eight hours of surgery and seven doctors were carefully selected to do that because of their experience.

“Before the operation, the seven doctors told the people that accompanied me (to the hospital) that I wouldn’t make it. I heard them.”

The event was attended by ex-Head of State, Gen. Abdulsalami Abubakar; ex-Vice-President Namadi Sambo; Aliko Dangote; Second Republic Vice-President, Alex Ekwueme; a former Governor of Kogi State, Idris Wada; ex-Governor of Jigawa State, Sule Lamido; a former Governor of Niger State, Babangida Aliyu; Prof. Jerry Gana and others.

We are Conductors by Day, Robbers by Night - Suspects Confess (Photo)

Two bus conductors, 22-year-old Lateef Sodiq and 21-year-old Tunde Lawal, have been nabbed by men of the Lagos State Command after robbing a motorist of his Honda saloon car.

The duo are members of a car-snatching gang operating in Lagos.

According to the suspects, they “supplement” their work as bus conductors with robbery.
 

Sodiq told our correspondent that he was arrested in a bus by men of the Alakara Police Division, Lagos, who were already on his trail without his knowledge.

He said that on Wednesday, after concluding his bus conducting duty, he went to meet other members of his gang and they snatched the Honda at Sabo area of Yaba, Lagos and dumped the driver of the vehicle at Obanikoro along Ikorodu Road.

He said,  “We did not beat the owner of the vehicle, we just asked him for the security codes of the car.

“This is the second time I would follow the gang to snatch a vehicle. I was given N50,000 the first time my gang took me along on an operation. Our leader is called Coded. He has not been caught since he ran way.

“I have been an armed robber for just one month. I came to Lagos from my state, Kwara, last year when I could no longer stand the farming business my father forced me into when he could no longer sponsor me to school.

“Now, I really feel bad about what I have done. I regret my  life now. By the grace of God, if I am released, I will run back to my village immediately.”

Sodiq said he was not educated beyond primary school.

“When I finished primary six, my father did not have money for me to continue schooling,” he said.

Lawal on the other hand, explained that he thought robbery would be an easier job than his normal bus conducting work.

“My work as a bus conductor is a tough job. that’s why I decided to join the robbery gang. But now, I know better, the problem in robbery is worse. I wish I can just be released to go back to my conductor business,” he said.

Lawal explained that he was introduced to the gang by Sodiq.

According to him, the gang gave him the duty of ransacking any vehicle they snatched and gathering every valuable found in such vehicles.

“I don’t hold a gun, all I did was gather money, phones and other valuables,” he said.

The Oyo State indigene said he did not know other members of the gang except Sodiq.

He said the first operation he participated in, they were almost arrested when the police chased them but they escaped.

The Commissioner of Police, Mr. Fatai Owoseni, has said efforts were being made to arrest other members of the gang.

Pastor Sells 'Anointed' Cucumbers to Members During Service (Photos)

A Zimbabwean pastor seems to have gathered the necessary spiritual inspiration from the cucumber saga of the former Miss Anambra, Chidinma Okeke in a recent oddity.

The church members holding the anointed cucumber

 

According to reports making the rounds online, a Zimbabwean Prophet, Walter Magaya, allegedly sold anointed cucumbers in his church as the congregants especially the ladies patronized him well. 

 

"The things we hear about pastors and their quests for miracles these days is quite alarming" a social media user said.

 

This act seems not have gone down well with some online users who have registered their displeasure by blasting the pastor.

 

The reason behind this action remains sketchy. The harmless cucumber fruit has been linked with s*x in recent times as utilized by some lesbians.

 

See another photo:

 

Man Arrested With $300k Worth of Marijuana Disguised as Wrapped Christmas Gifts (Photos)

The State Highway Patrol says troopers found 71 pounds of marijuana and other drugs wrapped as Christmas gifts in a vehicle that was stopped for a driving violation in northwest Ohio.

car full of wrapped cannabis disguised as xmas presents

 

A 31-year-old California native may not be celebrating Christmas as he planned after Ohio State Highway Patrol troopers found 71 pounds of marijuana and other cannabis products disguised as gifts in the back of the suspect’s SUV.

Daniel A. Yates was driving down Interstate 80 in Wood County in a rental car with Washington State plates, Ohio, when troopers pulled him over for following the vehicle in front of him too closely. Troopers found “criminal indicators” and a drug-sniffing canine helped police establish a probable cause for the search.

Officers discovered 10 boxes in holiday wrap with 71 pounds of marijuana, 360 tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) pills and a pound of hash oil.

Yates is scheduled to appear in court next week after he was slapped with second-degree felony charges of possession and drug trafficking. If convicted he could face a $30,000 fine and 16 years in prison.
 

one of the open cartons

Yates’ case of smuggling marijuana in gift boxes isn’t the only festive-themed felony. Officers of the Baton Rouge Police Department in Louisiana arrested a woman on Thanksgiving after she beat her husband with a turkey.

Officers arrived at the home of 52-year-old Helen Jackson and her husband, who were screaming at one another. The husband said he had been trying to cook the turkey when the fight broke out.

Jackson is accused of holding a knife to her husband’s throat, which she initially denied. She later admitted to taking the blade from her husband as he was using it to carve the turkey.

There are currently no indicators as to whether the argument started because he was about to deep fry the turkey while still frozen, or if he made a comment about the president-elect of the United States.

3 Suspected Kidnappers Dressed in Pastor's Outfit Killed by Police

Pandemonium broke out at Agbogidi Motor Park, close to the Onitsha head bridge, along the Benin-Asaba-Onitsha expressway, following a gun duel between a police patrol team and suspected kidnappers.

According to Vanguard, the police officers, who stormed the park based on intelligence report, on Friday, killed  three suspected kidnappers who dressed in pastors outfit.
 

Passengers and drivers  at the motor park at the time of the incident, ran to avoid being hit by stray bullets in the gun battle which lasted for over 10 minutes.

 

The suspects drove into a bar in the park in a  Toyota Corolla car allegedly waiting for their target, said to be a United Kingdom-based native of Asaba coming home for Christmas.

Sunday Vanguard gathered that a mole in the family of the UK-based Nigerian had given out information about him to the gang.

A dependable source, who pleaded anonymity, said the hoodlums were patiently waiting at the bar for a signal from their informant on the appropriate time to strike when they ran out of luck.

According to the source, the suspected kidnappers, on sighting the police patrol team, opened fire with spontaneous response from the police officers.

Showing the  corpses of the suspects at about 8pm on Friday to journalists, Delta State Police Commissioner, Mr. Ibrahim Zanna, said his men acted on credible information, disclosing that his men were on the trail of the mole who reportedly fled the scene before he could be fished out by the policemen.

Zanna said the  vehicle of the suspects,  one AK 47 rifle, one pump action gun, one locally made pistol with 19 rounds of 7.6mm, eight live cartridges, one expended cartridge and church aprons were recovered. Noting that some brave persons at the motor park assisted the police during the operation, he called on the general public to always provide the police with credible information that could lead to the tracking down of hoodlums.

This Naughty Girl's Bedroom Accident Will Make You Laugh (Video)

A young lady scantily-clad was learning pole-dancing in the comfort of her room when she suffered a domestic accident. 

 

The unnamed lady in question

 

This young lady with a big bum decided to make a video of herself exhibiting the act of pole-dancing just like strippers in club houses.

 

She was initially making progress before her body weight pulled down the poll and she landed on the floor from a height.

 

Considering the fall, she must have sustained minor injuries that will discourage her about poll dancing for a very long time.

 

Watch the video below:

 

Jimoh Ibrahim congratulates Akeredolu, mocks Fani-Kayode

Reactions are currently trailing the victory recorded by Oluwarotimi Akeredolu of the All Progressives Congress (APC) over his co-contenders in the Ondo governorship election just conducted.

While the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) was about ending the announcement of the results from the various local government areas, Akeredolu said he was humbled.

He thanked the people of the state for considering him worthy to be their governor. One of the first reactions came from prominent lawyer, Festus Keyamo, who posted his message on Twitter. According to Keyamo, “With d result of Ondo state, the PDP should know by now that rebranding goes beyond mocking the APC with a musical video of apes playing guitars.”

The Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) had a major crisis all through the electioneering with the Supreme Court only coming to its rescue few days to the exercise. Calls by the party and other Nigerians that the election be postponed proved abortive as INEC said it was fully prepared and that only a court could stop it. Jimoh Ibrahim, the businessman who was a factional candidate of the PDP till until the ruling of the Supreme Court, used the opportunity of his congratulatory message to mocked former aviation minister and critic, Femi Fani-Kayode.

Fani-Kayode had from the onset rejected the candidature of Jimoh Ibrahim and even called the businessman gay and a spoiler. While congratulating Akeredolu, Ibrahim said he knew Jegede would lose for allowing the support from Fani-Kayode. “I had no doubt that Jegede would lose as Femi Fani-Kayode was supporting him. If you want to win any election, pay Femi not to support you,” he said. “I have no doubt that you will urgently create hope for our people; kindly do whatever you can to assist your lovely civil servants. I saw poverty in those villages I visited during campaign. Please kindly assist traditional rulers as much as you can.”

He also warned Akeredolu to stay away from Governor Olusegun Mimiko of the state. “I will advise you to quickly maintain distance from Mimiko if you want to succeed,” he said in a Twitter message. On his part, Richard Akinnola, a lawyer, congratulated Akeredolu even though he said he supported PDP’s Eyitayo Jegede. “From the exit polls results so far, it’s obvious that the APC candidate, Aketi is coasting to victory. And l congratulate him. “It has been a hard-fought election. I don’t regret supporting you my dear aburo, Eyitayo. It was based on conviction, having known you for over 40 years. “You are a decent, urbane and intelligent man. Even during the last minute legal battles, you never betrayed any emotion and never resorted to angry and inflammatory statements, even against your main traducer who was working for your opposition. “Your one month political hiatus, occasioned by the deliberately contrived judicial subterfuge, till the legal siege was lifted barely three days to the polls, made you lose substantial grounds. “But despite this obvious disadvantage, you put up a fantastic performance. I am so proud of you and have no scintilla of regret for supporting you.

“Yes, it is natural to be despondent and melancholic over an electoral defeat. That was how l felt in 1983 when Chief Bola Ige of the UPN, lost to Dr Olunloyo of the NPN in the Oyo state governorship election. “But as a disciple of politics without bitterness as espoused by Alhaji Waziri Ibrahim of the GNPP during the Second Republic, l say all things work together for good. Nothing spoil. No shaking. I wish Ondo state well,” Akinnola said. 

Anenih dumps partisan politics, drums support for Buhari

Chief Tony Anenih, a former Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), has declared he is no longer interested in partisan politics.

Chief Tony Anenih, a former Chairman of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), has declared he is no longer interested in partisan politics. The man popularly addressed as ‘Mr Fix It’, made the announcement on Saturday, November 26, during the launch of his book themed ‘My Life and Nigeria Politics’ in Abuja, Nigeria’s federal capital territory. “I am persuaded that I have no more ambition nor any point to prove in politics. I am, therefore, glad to declare that, from today, I shall be withdrawing from active partisan politics. I shall, however, continue to avail the country of my experience, give suggestions and offer advice, as a statesman,” he stated. While drumming support for President Muhammadu Buhari from Nigerians regardless of their party loyalties, the former minister said: “I must not end this statement of gratitude without acknowledging the fact that our country is going through difficult times. It is a national predicament which we must confront in unity, irrespective of our partisan commitments, whether PDP, APC, AD or Labour.

“I, therefore, want to urge all Nigerians to persevere and hope for a better tomorrow. We must support and pray that God will give President Muhammadu Buhari the wisdom and vision to steer this country away from recession to prosperity.”

The 83-year-old man, was the national chairman of the then Social Democratic Party (SDP), which was the party of Late Chief M.K.O Abiola who emerged winner of the electoral contest. Abiola was denied his mandate by the then military government headed by General Ibrahim Babangida (rtd) and later died in detention after he was thrown in jail by military dictator, Late General Sani Abacha.